Find a Relationship Therapist

Relationship therapy — also known as couples counseling — is a specialized form of talk therapy that helps romantic partners improve their communication, resolve conflict, and rebuild intimacy. It's not just for couples in turmoil. Relationship therapy is beneficial for any partners seeking to strengthen their connection, navigate changes, or address concerns they may not know how to resolve on their own.

Some common reasons couples seek therapy include:

• Communication problems or frequent arguments
• Lack of intimacy or emotional distance
• Trust issues, including infidelity
• Parenting disagreements
• Financial stress
• Life transitions, such as moving in together, having a child, or retirement

Relationship counseling is for everyone — whether you're married or dating, monogamous or polyamorous, heterosexual or LGBTQ+. It can also be helpful for co-parents, long-distance couples, or even those ending a relationship and seeking to do so respectfully.

With more people embracing online couples therapy, support is more accessible than ever — regardless of location or schedule.

This is one of the most common misconceptions — and one of the most damaging. Couples therapy is not only for relationships in crisis. In fact, some of the most successful outcomes come from couples who seek therapy early, before problems become entrenched.

Think of relationship counseling like preventative care: it can help you build stronger foundations, clarify shared goals, and learn healthier ways to navigate tension. Just like you wouldn't wait for a car to break down before getting a tune-up, it's wise to give your relationship attention before it's in distress.

Therapy can also be a proactive tool for:

• Pre-marital counseling
• Learning how to communicate better
• Strengthening emotional intimacy
• Exploring long-term compatibility
• Navigating differences in cultural or religious backgrounds

You don't need to be on the verge of a breakup to benefit from online relationship therapy or in-person sessions. Many couples use therapy to grow together — not just survive together.

Ideally, both partners attend couples therapy. But even if only one person is willing, therapy can still be impactful.

Individual therapy can help you:

• Understand your relationship patterns
• Communicate your needs more effectively
• Set boundaries and respond differently in conflict
• Clarify your role in the relationship dynamic
• Decide what you want long term

Sometimes, changes made by one partner can influence the whole relationship. In other cases, individual therapy can be a path to self-awareness and clarity, whether the relationship continues or not.

If your partner is hesitant, inviting them to one online couples therapy session can lower the barrier to entry — many people feel more open after meeting a nonjudgmental therapist.

While both can be helpful, they serve different purposes:

• Relationship therapy treats the relationship itself as the client. Both partners are present, and the therapist works to understand the dynamic, help each person feel heard, and facilitate productive dialogue.
• Individual therapy explores how one person's thoughts, feelings, or behaviors impact their relationships. The focus is on your personal patterns, boundaries, attachment style, and past experiences.

If you're unsure which is right for you, a therapist can help assess whether to begin with couples sessions or individual support.

Starting couples therapy can feel intimidating — especially if you're unsure what to expect. But a typical session with a skilled relationship therapist is designed to be a safe, respectful, and productive space where both partners are supported equally.

Initial Sessions: Getting to Know You

The first one to two sessions are usually focused on assessment and goal setting. Your therapist will likely ask:

• How long you've been together
• What strengths and struggles you've noticed in your relationship
• What brings you to therapy now
• What each of you hopes to achieve

Some therapists may conduct individual sessions with each partner to understand personal histories, attachment styles, or mental health considerations that affect the relationship dynamic.

The Therapist's Role

A couples therapist acts as a neutral facilitator — not a referee or judge. Their job is not to determine who's right or wrong, but to:

• Reflect communication patterns
• Help you hear each other more clearly
• Create a structured space to explore emotional wounds
• Challenge harmful cycles while teaching new relational skills

You can expect your therapist to guide conversations constructively, help de-escalate arguments, and model empathy and emotional regulation.

What You Might Do in Session

Each session is different depending on the issues being addressed, but common elements include:

• Communication exercises: Practicing how to listen without interrupting, validate each other's feelings, and express needs clearly.
• Conflict de-escalation: Learning how to "pause" fights, identify triggers, and reduce defensiveness.
• Emotionally focused dialogue: Identifying core feelings (like fear, shame, or longing) underneath surface-level arguments.
• Homework: Some therapists assign exercises between sessions, such as date nights, journaling, or practicing a specific communication tool.

Some sessions may feel emotionally intense — especially when past wounds or current betrayals are explored. Others might be light, hopeful, and even humorous. What matters most is consistency and commitment to the process.

Online vs. In-Person Sessions

With the rise of online relationship therapy, many couples find virtual sessions just as effective as in-person ones. Online therapy allows for greater flexibility, privacy, and comfort — especially for busy professionals, long-distance partners, or those who feel safer in a familiar space.

Regardless of format, a relationship counselor provides the container for deeper understanding and growth. Therapy is not about fixing your partner — it's about transforming how you relate to one another.

There's no one-size-fits-all answer. Some couples notice improvements in just a few sessions. Others with deeper or more complex issues may work with a couples therapist for several months or longer.

Factors that affect progress include:

• The severity and duration of the issues
• How motivated both partners are
• Willingness to practice skills outside of sessions
• The presence of trauma, infidelity, or other complicating factors

Typically, couples meet weekly at first, then shift to biweekly or monthly check-ins as things improve. Online relationship therapy can provide added flexibility, making it easier to stick with the process.

A trained relationship therapist will not take sides. Their role is to remain neutral and focus on the relationship dynamic, not on who is "right" or "wrong."

That said, they may challenge both partners — encouraging accountability, emotional honesty, and healthy communication. The goal isn't blame; it's insight and progress.

If either partner ever feels unheard or targeted, a good therapist will address this directly and help re-establish trust in the process. Safety and emotional balance are central to successful relationship counseling.

Yes — this is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy.

Communication issues often look like:

• Talking past each other or "shutting down"
• Constant bickering over small things
• Fear of bringing up sensitive topics
• One partner feeling dismissed or controlled
• Escalating conflicts that never get resolved

Relationship counseling teaches couples how to:

• Use "I" statements instead of blame
• Practice reflective listening
• Express needs and boundaries clearly
• Stay calm during conflict
• Repair after arguments

Improved communication isn't just about fewer fights — it's about feeling seen, respected, and emotionally connected.

Yes. Relationship therapy can be transformative for couples dealing with breaches of trust — including infidelity, emotional withdrawal, or deception.

When trust is broken, couples may experience:

• Obsessive thoughts or surveillance behavior
• Constant questioning and defensiveness
• Shame, guilt, or fear of abandonment
• Avoidance or detachment to prevent further pain

A couples therapist can guide both partners through the process of:

• Understanding why the betrayal occurred
• Expressing hurt and anger in a safe environment
• Rebuilding emotional safety and transparency
• Re-negotiating boundaries and expectations

Not all couples choose to stay together after a betrayal — and therapy can help with conscious separation when needed. But many couples do heal, often building a stronger connection through honest work and shared vulnerability.

Absolutely. Relationship counseling supports all relationship types, not just married heterosexual couples. It's beneficial for:

• Dating or cohabiting partners
• LGBTQ+ couples navigating identity, discrimination, or family dynamics
• Polyamorous or non-monogamous relationships working on boundaries and communication
• Long-distance couples balancing time zones, trust, and emotional closeness

A culturally competent relationship therapist will respect and understand diverse identities and dynamics, creating a safe space for exploration and growth.

If you're unsure whether therapy will "get" your relationship, ask potential therapists about their experience with your relationship structure during an initial consultation.

Yes. Major life transitions — even joyful ones — can create stress in relationships. Common transitions include:

• Becoming new parents
• Caring for aging parents
• Retirement or career change
• Relocation or immigration
• Health challenges or disability
• Empty nesting

These events can disrupt roles, routines, intimacy, and emotional balance. Relationship therapy helps couples re-align, set new expectations, and support each other during times of change.

It's a place to process grief, joy, fear, and hope — together.

Every relationship goes through highs and lows. But the most resilient couples aren't the ones who never argue — they're the ones who seek support when they need it.

Whether you're navigating conflict, healing from betrayal, or simply hoping to reconnect, relationship counseling can help. A skilled relationship therapist offers tools, insight, and a space where both partners can feel seen and heard.

Whether you're attending in person or exploring online couples therapy, taking the first step is an act of love — for yourself, your partner, and your future together.